Ducky's
Dubious Deeds
The Ducky, Magic's 97.9's "Duct Tape Bandit Award of Dubious Achievement," is named for our region's own contribution to dubious achievement, the "Duct Tape Bandit" who in the summer 2007 gained national notice when he was 
arrested after wrapping his head in duct tape to order to try to rob an Ashland, Ky., liquor store. Police say Kasey Kazee walked in to the store with duct tape wrapped around his head to conceal his face. But store manager Bill Steele had some duct tape of his own. Steel had a wooden club wrapped with duct tape that eventually sent the suspect fleeing the store. Store employee Craig Miller says he chased Kazee to the parking lot, tackled him and held him in a choke positiion until police arrived. An unidentified customer also helped.
Our winners ...
Captured: Finger-gun Bandit: A South Daytona, Fla., teenager allegedly tried to rob two convenience stores using only a finger. Justin MacGilfrey, 19, made a fist and pointed his finger at the clerk, police said. The clerk at first thought the man was playing a prank, but when the robber repeated his demand, the 22-year-old clerk walked from behind the counter and MacGilfrey ran. Deputies who responded to the scene realized the suspect's description matched one in earlier similar incident. The long arm of the law caught up with MacGilfrey,
Thief Locks Purse After Break In: Police in Orland Park, Ill., said a woman apparently locked her purse inside a former employer's office after allegedly breaking into the room. Officers alleged that Silva Schleiter-Doede, a doctor who formerly subcontracted for the optical department at a department store before April of this year, entered an office at the store during business hours using a hidden key she discovered. Authorities claimed that security tapes showed Schleiter-Doede going between the office and her car during the next two hours, carrying items out of the building. However, she then apparently accidentally locked herself out of the office -- with her purse and other belongings inside. She allegedly tried to enter the office through the ceiling, only to crush ceiling tiles and a metal pipe when she fell through the ceiling into the office. Schleiter-Doede was charged with criminal trespass and criminal damage.
Staple Gun Stickup:, Ashland has made yet another contribution to the gallery of strange crime. Meet Staple Gun Stickup Guy. According to the Ashland Daily Independent, "In the most recent local example of what can only be described as criminal stupidity, police say that an Ashland man held up an ice cream parlor with a decidedly nonlethal weapon: A chrome-plated stapler." The paper reports Gerald A. Rocchi, 32, is accused of walking into The Ice Cream Shop, his face covered with a ski mask, brandished the stapler and demanded money, Ashland Police Department Capt. Don Petrella said.
Bad Idea: Shotgun & Lug Nuts: A Southworth, Wash., man trying to loosen a stubborn lug nut blasted the wheel with a 12-gauge shotgun, injuring himself badly in both legs.
The 66-year-old man had been repairing a Lincoln Continental for two weeks at his home northwest of Southworth, about 10 miles southwest of Seattle, and had gotten all but one of the lug nuts off the right rear wheel by Saturday afternoon. From about arm's length, the man fired the shotgun at the wheel and was ``peppered'' in both legs with buckshot and debris, with some injuries as high as his chin.
Yawning Mug Shot -- You don't see too many people yawning in their mug shots. This guy did. The people taking the picture are supposed to do it over when someone yawns, but in this case they didn't, to the amusement of the general public. Actually, when Joseph B. Trujillo was booked, he looked angry - as if he was shouting something when the camera shutter snapped. The 44-year-old Denver man is accused of beating his mother-in-law's Chihuahua to death with a shovel. Study the image a while longer, though, and you might find yourself stifling a yawn.
Uh, That’s Not The Cash Register... A Fairfield, Conn., doughnut shop robber had a big hole in his caper -- he grabbed the store's adding machine instead of the cash register. The man entered a Dunkin' Donuts , claiming to be armed with a gun and bomb. He gave the clerk a note threatening to use both, grabbed what he thought was the cash register and ran into a waiting car, police said. However, the bumbling robber's cash haul added up to a big zero -- since he grabbed the store's adding machine -- which didn't even have money drawers.
Illusionist David Copperfield’s troubles have worsened following the discovery of a document that reportedly outlines how his assistants were to gather women he found attractive at his shows. According to the document, titled Show Participation, Copperfield's employees had to gather a clipboard, a camera and brochures of his islands in the Bahamas when they went out to find good-looking women. The paperwork advises the assistants to try and encourage the women to come backstage with the possibility of work in the Bahamas, reports website TMZ.com. The scripted document reads: "Do you know thatDavid has recently bought some islands in the Bahamas? Well they are Beautiful and we are doing a lot of project (sic) for these islands: ads, TV, radio and many other promotions. So we like (sic) to keep in touch with you in case there is a job in the future we think you would be interested in." The next part of the document is a questionnaire which enquires about the women's marital status: "Where are you from? What hotel are you staying in? ... How long are you in town?... Who did you come to the show with? Husband? Boyfriend? Friend?"
Bad Idea: Dancing Dentist: The dentist screwed up, a patient alleges, and pierced the sinus cavity and almost drilled into her eye socket. And the reason, says the patient, is that the dentist was dancing while drilling, specifically to the sound of the theme from "Car Wash," which was playing on the radio at the time. Can't stand still when "Car Wash" starts. And now you know why dentists shouldn't have music playing while they're doing work on you.
Bad Idea: Hidden Gun at Work... A Texas man learned the hard way recently that you probably shouldn't take a concealed gun with you to work. Lake Worth Police Chief Brett McGuire said an employee of a local insurance firm who thought it was a good idea to tote a gun to work was shot in both legs when his weapon accidentally discharged. In addition to suffering the self-inflicted wounds, the unidentified employee now faces charges for unlawfully carrying a weapon.
Double Drunk Driving: A Northville, Mich., married couple spent the night in jail after both husband and wife were accused of drunken driving. Officers said a man was pulled over at about 11:20 p.m. Saturday for running a red light. A preliminary breath test indicated a blood alcohol content of 0.11, over the legal 0.08 limit, police said. Police told the man's 12-year-old son, who was riding with him, to phone his mother for a ride home. However, when the women arrived with her 9-year-old daughter riding with her, they said she registered a 0.13 on the breath test. Both parents were held by police until they sobered up and the children were turned over to a relative. The couple were released pending formal charges. And now they also are the latest recipients of a Ducky, Magic 97.9's "Duct Tape Bandit Award of Dubious Achievement."
Shoplifters Leave Kid: Two women suspected of shoplifting at a Hartsdale, N.Y., clothing store apparently left a baby boy behind when they fled the scene. Police said the infant was abandoned in his stroller as the two women ran from the T.J. Maxx store Monday evening. "The mother panicked ... and just took off," said Greenburgh police Lt. Desmond Martin. Police said they were able to find the child's father after the mother -- identified by the Journal News as Suzette Gruber -- left her purse and cell phone in the stroller with the baby. The police also said the baby's stroller contained hidden vases, teapots and knives with a total value of about $180.
A Pittsburgh woman who fell asleep under an SUV while spying on her husband had to be rescued when someone let air out of the tires. Police were called late Monday morning by a man who was working on a house next door who said he heard cries for help from beneath the vehicle. Once extricated, the unidentified woman told police she had crawled under the SUV to watch a house where her husband of 26 years was. She explained her action by saying she suspected he was having an affair. Police responded by detaining her for a psychiatric evaluation, the report said. Investigators were trying to determine who deflated the tires but reportedly had few leads.
---
Change for a Million ? Pittsburgh police are holding a man for trying to get change for a $1 million bill from a convenience store. Police said the man, who refused to give his name, was arrested at a Giant Eagle store after a clerk and the manager refused his demands to make change for the fake bill. The man reportedly became angry when the manager refused to give him back the bill, and police were called. The bill had the image of President Grover Cleveland it, which did appear on $1,000 bills before they were taken out of circulation in 1969. The country never has issued $1 million bills, and the largest U.S. banknote now in circulation is the $100 bill.
---
Why Can't There Be a Tattoo Re-Do? A South Wales man got a life-size tattoo of his partner's face on his back -- only to be dumped for a younger man. Alan Jenkins, 38, from Port Talbot, spent 20 hours under the needle to celebrate 15 happy years with common law wife, Lisa Crooks, 36. But the steelworker was left reeling when he discovered the mother of his two kids was having an affair with a co-worker. 
Lisa is now planning on moving Latvian Kaspars Gavars, 25, into the family home, after Alan moves out. Alan had spent £870 on the portrait of Lisa with their daughters Jade, 15, and Daniella, 10. He told reporters, "She'll be on my back forever, thanks to the tattoo. It was my way of telling her our love would last forever." Lisa said: "I never wanted Alan to have my face tattooed on his back in the first place. I didn't plan to fall in love with Kaspars, it just happened."
---
Sidewalk Burglars. Two Des Moines, Iowa, teens have been arrested after their alleged burglary attempt went real wrong. Police say the two, working to cut their way through a roof and into a tobacco and liquor store, misjudged their location and spent much of their time drilling a hole to the sidewalk outside the store. 
"They forgot to take into account the overhang," store owner Rich Bartlett told the Des Moines Register. Oh, then there's the camera. Did we mention the camera? A woman walking her dog saw the would-be burglars on the shop's roof and told them to get down, adding that she would call police if they didn't. The youths jumped down in front of a security camera. Says Bartlett, "I told the cop, 'You don't spend your days chasing geniuses, do you?' " The pair -- Zagory Harris, 17, and Taylor Kraus, 15 -- have been charged with third-degree burglary and criminal mischief.
---
Tattoo Boy. A shirtless man with a penchant for tattoos and blond highlights in his hair has unwittingly become an instant Internet sensation by allowing a newly-stolen computer to take his picture and broadcast it online. A picture of the yet-to-be identified man surfaced on Flickr, an online photo album operated by a Vancouver company that was recently robbed of several computers. "It's pretty silver-platter as far as any kind of property theft can go," said Dane Brown, manager of Workspace, told the Vancouver Sun.
---
The Onerous Onion Assault. A Des Moines man has gone to jail for allegedly throwing an onion at his wife.
The police report the the victim "states her husband had been drinking and they got into an argument." 
James Izzolena, 54, of 3515 Sheridan Ave., was charged with domestic assault causing injury. Police said he became upset with his wife, Nicole, 27, and tossed an onion at her, striking her in the back of the head.
She told police it made her head hurt. James Izzolena admitted throwing the onion, police said, but he claimed he did not intend to hit her with it. He was being held without bond pending a court appearance today.
---
Snake Boy. It's not really a surprise that drinking was involved ... an Oregon man nearly died after he put his pet rattlesnake in his mouth and it bit him inside his throat. Matt Wilkinson said when he put his eastern diamondback rattlesnake down his throat, he immediately noticed a shot-like sensation. "Me, being me, I put his head in my mouth. At first, it felt like someone had given me a shot in the mouth." News reports say Wilkinson's throat began to swell and close as poison rushed through his body. Doctors stuck a breathing tube down his throat, injected several rounds of anti-venin and then put him in a medical coma for three days. "I still love snakes but I will take a little more care in handling them," he says. Click here for a video.
---
Cyber Cheaters. A married couple are divorcing after they chatted each other up on the Internet using fake names. Sana Klaric and husband Adnan poured their hearts out to each other over their marriage troubles. 
Using the names "Sweetie" and "Prince of Joy" in an online chatroom, the pair thought they had found a soulmate with whom to spend the rest of their lives. Unlike in the old Rupert Holmes song about pina coladas, there was no happy ending after they turned up for a date and realized their mistake. Now the pair is divorcing after accusing each other of being unfaithful. Sana, 27, said: "I was suddenly in love. It was amazing, we seemed to be stuck in the same kind of miserable marriages. How right that turned out to be." But when it dawned on her what had happened, she said, "I felt so betrayed."Adnan, 32, said, "I still find it hard to believe that Sweetie, who wrote such wonderful things, is actually the same woman I married and who has not said a nice word to me for years."
---
Unwelcome Contributor. A Ukrainian man has been arrested after making use of one of the exhibits at a new museum dedicated to the history of the toilet. The museum, which opened only last week in the capital Kiev and claims to be the first of its kind in the world, has now added "Not for use" signs on all its exhibits. The toilet museum takes visitors through the entire history of the modern toilet from its earliest beginnings as a hole in the ground to modern-day toilets with all mod-cons. There is even a section dedicated to toilets of the future. Vassiliy Kovalchuk, who has apologized to museum staff, said: "I didn't realize they were only to look at when I was caught short. They told me afterwards visitors are supposed to use the public toilets on the street. I told them I want my money back."
---
The Foot Stomp Chef. In New York, the Rockland County health department has hit the Great China Buffet restaurant with two violations after someone took pictures of an employee stomping on a bowl of garlic with his boots in an alley. "I go back there, and the guy's stepping on garlic," said photographer Dan Barreto, who alerted health inspectors. "There he was just jumping up and down on it, smashing it up, having a good time." Great China Buffet owner Jiang Shu said the worker has been fired.
---
Cheetos Assailant. An Iowa man has been charged with a cheesy snack attack on his dad, police said. The weapon? A bag of Cheetos. Patrick Hamman, 22, of Des Moines was arrested on a charge of domestic assault after he threw a bag of Cheetos at his father, Michael Hamman. The Cheetos hit Hamman's father's glasses, causing a cut to the bridge of his nose, police said. The police report said "Michael's T-shirt was also covered in Cheeto dust." Police said Patrick, who lives with his father, admitted that he was on methamphetamine at the time of the argument.
---
The Buff Burglar. Sheriff's deputies in a Florida town booked a burglar in the buff after a high school girl identified him for authorities from a school yearbook photo.
The 17-year-old Deltona boy says he entered his neighbor's house this week because he was playing a game of hide-and-seek with friends, the Orlando Sentinel reported Wednesday. Why he was naked never was explained.
Volusia County sheriff's deputies said a 17-year-old girl in the house saw the boy entering her mother's bedroom, naked but holding his clothes. He asked her to hide him, but when she reached for the phone to call the police, he fled.
Whenasked for a description, the girl did one better. She opened her Deltona High School yearbook and showed deputies his photo, 
saying she recognized him because they were on the same school bus.Police said the boy said he wasn't going to steal anything nor harm the girl.
---
The Abby Outlaws, two Marshfield, Wis., men charged with drunken driving while you and a friend are trying to drive the same pickup truck home. "I always thought I'd be famous, just not this way," said 43-year-old Harvey Miller, a paraplegic who steered a pickup truck with his pal, Edwin Marzinske, 55, on the gas pedal and brakes, while intoxicated. Both were cited for drunken driving and driving while revoked. They're planning to defend themselves in court with an argument -- get this... -- that neither had control, so neither was driving. Oh, do write that down.
---
Miss Teen South Carolina, for her syntactical train wreck
this week. Asked to comment on why a fifth of Americans couldn't locate
the U.S. on a map, Miss S.C. said: I personally believe that U.S. Americans are unable to do so because some people out there in our nation don't have maps and I believe that our education like such as in South Africa and the Iraq everywhere like such as and I believe that they should our education over here in the U.S. should help the U.S. or should help South Africa and should help the Iraq and the Asian countries so we will be able to build up our future for. Yes, it does make us all proud. See it for yourself.
